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I went to visit my cousen jim bob.He was going to a shin dig ,i never been to one so i tag along .. they got together a country band from locals that could play something and was party when i got there..Little shorty was on the jug ,and jim bob was playing the saw, uncle slim johnson was sawing on fiddel..tom cat had the wash tub ,,that wash tub was stranges thing it was wash tub turn up side down ,with what apeared to be mop handle stuck in hole in middle .with three strings from tub to top handle sounded like the stranges base i ever heard .. any way the moon shine was flowing and we were do-se doing and cotton eye joe , and skip totol-loue my darling and feeling no pain. i was haven good old time flerting with all ladys ,like i always do]. when that shine started to hit me ,I broke out in a sweat. and eyes got bleary and hard to stand up.yap i was wasted. stagered over to the bench next to what i thought was a berrow,and something hit me.last thing i know ..i swear it was! woke up my hand would move and feet would move .i look around i was tied to bed [i swear i was ].i had no clothes, look around and there was little short woman and she was round tooooo.[I SAID LET ME LOOSE] she no you might run off.[ well she got that right]I SAID WHY AN I HERE TIED UP LIKE THIS ] she said got to train you. or you run off..[I SAID WE NOT MARRIED AND YOU GOT NO CLAM ON ME] she said ,yes i do we married..and pointed to a paper what appeared to be marrage lisons on mantel..[I SAID I NEVER SAY I DO ] she said your head bob when he ask if you take this woman to be your married wife.. ,, and i said he does..she said my uncle revern jimmie hog smith married us..next thing was a lound noise going threw the woods.[NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO]

Well what must been a week she let me loose ,then said if try to run off i,ll send cochise after you , then she pointed to what apear to be some kind mix dog ,[LOOK LIKE HALF WOFE AND BEAR MIXED] well i knew i never wanted for that dog run me down. so got to come up with way to get ridd of dog and her same time. so i look at watch it had stop so stuck up a stick and set watch at 12 clock hy when shadow was shortest ,i notice the dog didn,t do any thing as long i was going north east or west ,but when started go to south it gave me growel , and show its teeth.. well i knew i didn,t want go south ,not with that dog on guard..So went north its that simple , that dog never try to fellow me ,well we pull the wool over his eyes.went up the hill dog never move .thats strange? after 100 yards i knew why there was two big black bears ,and one wanted me for lunch because he was chargeing me.i headed back to caben as fast as me feet would go [GOOD THING I LETTER IN TRACK ] i was setting al kinds reckords in 440 hy herdels i cleared ever lay down log ,stump ,and bolder .the bear had go around ,but in open he made up grown on me fast ,it was race to front door.i flew in front door pass cochese and mountian woman and out back door be fore they could move,and close the back door .They was alful racket going own bear growning cochise was grawling and mountian woman was cussen i knew that that bear had them both.[then all quiet] i open the door just a little peek in and what i see,. mountian had that bear hanging from rafters and was skinning it .She just seem to dance around it doing her thing.She look at me stearing threw the door and with little twinkle in her eye she said [I,M GOING TO CAN THIS ONE HES TOO FAT GOT COOK IT DOWN.GO GET A LEAN ONE FOR SUPPER.]

WELL i kick around for week i hear a train whisel every day at 12 noon or as close i could tell time..The train seems to be to the south. Thats why they would let me go that way. "there way out".down there,but how get by that dog and mountian lady.well i did have them tied up for few minutes with that bear ,thats head start. so at 11 :30 i went north to fine that other bear and told mountian lady get ready i,m going bear hunting.Went out found that other bear he was,nt interested in me , so took stick and jab him in rump he let out a yell and turn on me,,and the race was own ,[FEET DON,T FAIL ME NOW] i was flying down the mountian and bear was close the gap .I look the door was open could see clean threw caben i hit front door at full speed and out back and close the door and this time lock it and off down mountian i went as fast as i could go. when got down bottom mountian there it was a train and it was moven out slow ,and in back grown i could here cochies howing and getting closer .i cought the train and it was moveing faster. i pull me up on flat car as cochiese got there .IF ever seen dog disapointed he was it as i smile as train pull away out site. byee byee mountian woman and cochiese.