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A Memory

Closeing my eyes,I move back threw time and space. To a hillside facing the East.
The sky is clear,and still dark. Laying on the ground,with arms folded under my head,looking at the morning stars. Down below me,at the edge of the timber,is a white morning mist,laying just above the ground. The fog is wave looking,but yet it doesn't move. The hills are dark against a sky that is getting lighter. Somewhere way off,I hear an
owl,hooting it's morning song.
My heart is free,and light,but yet theres a sadness. Just knowing that I'll never see this again,has it is right now. The smell of morning,the feel of due on the grass,the kiss of a morning breeze,lapping at my skin.
Then the sound of a voice,breaks the silence. "Watches a lot? You mind if I sit here?
jumping out of my slumber of thought,I she her standing there. Tall,dark skin,her long hair blowing in the breeze. " No,I don't mind." I said. Saying nothing,she sits down,and closes her eyes. Then in the dawn of day,she opens them and looks at me. "Why do you ask such things? Looking to my left at her,I ask. "What things?" Her dark eyes falls on mine,she smiles,and says. "You ask things of life that it can't give. Why would you do that?" Looking at her I reply. "I ask of life nothing that it can't give." Looking at me she said. "You make your heart heavy. Don't worry about not being here again,and feeling what you've felt. We have memory,and no one can take that away. Look inside you. Touch your inter self. When you go away,you'll still be here. Where are they sending you?"
Looking at the birth of a new day,I stood up. "Somewhere in Kansas. They call it Ft Riley.
They say it's the home of The Big Red 1." Standing beside me,she turned to face me.
"Whats the Red 1 for? She ask. "It's a patch they have on. It's a red 1 on a green background. The 1st inf div." I said. " I see." she said. "How long will you be there?" she ask. "I'm not sure. Sounds like I could be there a while. Just not sure." I said has I seen the first light of day. "Will you go to the war,and fight,has you ask to go?" Looking down,and feeling a tightness deep inside me,I said. "Not sure of that. They told me they have something else in mind. I will do has told." Placing her hand on her head,she was standing there with new sun light touching her,and still facing me. "You scare the shit out of me. I know you. Don't forget that. You have wounds deep inside you that most don't have."
Turning to face her with a stern face. " I have put all that away. All I can not carry is gone.
It is not for me to have any more. Like the new day we stand in,I too am new. You thought that to me. you gave back to me what others have taken. Only in death will that too be taken. Turning to the sun,with tears in both eyes,she said nothing. Moving closer to her,and knowing this was something I had never done,but something that needed to be done. I hugged her.
The aging woman,that carried me,and tought me so much, and received so little. had at long last been placed inside my heart.
The morning had turned into day. It was a heavy day. Tho the words,"good bye" was never said,I had to turn away. Away from a life that i would never come back to.

20 Jan 1975

page done by splitfinger

What's New?

Here I might add an entry whenever I make an update to my web site. Where appropriate, I'll include a link to the change. For example:

11/1/01 - Added new photos to Vacation Album page.



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